007 First Light's launch bugs and fixes prove disappointingly short on material for James Bond quips

I fired up the launch patch notes for Io Interactive's 007 First Light hoping to find some rich material for James Bond quips. You know, like when James Bond beheads a villain with a skillet, then says something like "I always suspected you were… small fry." Or when James Bond murders somebody during an egg-and-spoon race, then says "You're cracking me up, my dear sir."

Alas, developers Io Interactive have let me down. The game's first hotfix is a bunch of routine but important-sounding fixes for various crash bugs. For example, it fixes a crash that occurs during a cutscene where Bond and Moneypenny enter an elevator. "Elevator crash bug" – what am I supposed to do with that? Hang on, do elevators also crash??? I need to stop using those things.

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